Tats, the new mullet

Tats. I realize that tattoos can be a delicate subject around Christians (they are specifically forbidden under Old Testament law, but so is wearing a cotton/poly t-shirt), and I definitely don’t feel like waxing philosophical on y’all, but since tats are the rage right now, and by that I mean “FAD” (like parachute pants, big hair, and pet rocks) I do have something to say on the matter.

Ever look back back at old pictures of yourself and cringe? If you haven't it, let me assure you that its only because you're too young to have old pictures. The rest of the world though has these photos, photos we thought made us look so cool we saved them, only to realize, years later, that fashion is SOO temporary! Think something's cool now? Wait 10 minutes, it'll change. And that's no big deal when we're talking about the bell-bottom pants of the 70's or the 'big hair' of the 80's, but tats are different. Ink is forever, basically. (Yes, you can have them removed, but its a long painful expensive process, not a quick trip to the trash can or barber shop.)

Anyway, I was discussing tats (the new mullet) with my wife yesterday when I happened to gaze over at a picture we have framed next to our fireplace. And I thought to myself, “Self, that picture is a piece of art, just like a tat is a piece of art, so what’s the difference? Why should anyone not get a piece of body art?” And the whole thing would have ended right there, except that my brain kept working, which occasionally does happen, and I answered myself, “dude, in thirty years that pic be the fire will look exactly the same, but a tat will not. You want to compare apples to apples? Crumple the picture up into a wrinkly wad, then put it back under the glass.”

The simple fact is that living tissue is just not good canvas, period. Its inferior, and therefore degrades the art rendered upon it. Why not get a tat? Skin wrinkles, that’s why. Ever met a WWII navy vet? They all have this blue smudge on their arm that you see when you shake hands with them. It was a cool hip tat once. Now its illegible, ugly and kinda funky lookin’. Knowing that whatever I ink up now will look like that in 30 years is why I don’t have any tattoos.

Theological? Not in the least, but true nonetheless.